Sanfter-Liebhaber

Here's the thing, at least in terms of religion: I was born Catholic.  I was baptised and all that.  But what actually got to me was not the decades of going to church and hearing the parbles and gospels of the 'Word of the Lord,' it was childrens books. Let me sum up - I was born in Ontario, but spent most of my life on Vancouver Island.  There's a Catholic church called 'The Church of the Ascension' halfway atwixt Qualicum and Parksville.  The church has services like any other church, but it's also got childrens books by the rectory.  Because, in my mind, I'm about six years old, I read all these books, which were all religious stories.

I think a lot of my... eccentricities are constucts of my own making.  I'm not comfortable with myself.  I always think that there's something that I can change, that my tum sticks out, that I'm not saying the right thing.  I'm extremely introverted, and the people I do talk to are normally customers at my job as a clerk, so my social accuity is lacking, to say the least.  I try to be as open and honest as I can, and I try to make people happy, and sometimes I come off a bit too strong, a bit... too open. I've often contemplated talking to a psychiatrist about my... well, what I consider to be my 'social faults,' but I stop when I realize th

Now, I'm not talking about some religious cliche or a Hitchhiker quote, but something specific to you.  I'm sitting here, drinking, smoking, listening to good music and reading a comic about a bisexual Danish crime-lord, and I'm wonderfully content.  Life is good right now.  But that's not its meaning - I don't know that.  I can't know that. But I know what I hope it is: I want to be important.  Not, like, politically or something.  I just want to be respected and admired for something I enjoy doing.  Maybe I'm a good person, maybe I become a good nurse, maybe I finish my novel.  Maybe it's only one person who loves and respects and admires